Tired.

I'm so tired.
And stressed out.
I read people wrong.
People read me wrong.

I say things I don't mean.
I'm kind of a bitch to people.

I'm almost falling asleep.
But all of the sudden, I just cant close my eyes.
Not as a metaphor, but physically impossible to close my eyes shut.

Then the spark comes and I just cant fall asleep before its around 4 or 5 AM.

I hope you understand me.
I'm just trying to hang on for dear life.
I don't mean to hurt you. Or to scare you.
But you know... It's me. And it's a tired me.

And I realized.. I'm being pulled again.
And I'm scared of it.
So I'm brushing myself closer to you.. But you're not really...
Not the...
Not the reaction I was hoping for.
And the pulling gets harder.
But I still got my powers left.

So.
Either help me or don't. But do not be surprised of me, all right?
Don't be scared of me.

I just...
I love you so much.
And this... Sleepiness, this... Endless tiredness.

Cause I know. You could be the one. And I know I wont forget you.
There are two who I will never forget. You and Her.
Different reasons. Different persons. Different memories.

I-... I-...

I just feel like I'm taking a step closer and you're turning your back at me. All I can do is hug your back then.
All I can do is just.. Wait for a better day for you.

But I want you to know. That when you're far away, and I cant reach you... Physically or with words either even though my mouth is running and fingers typing... I feel like I should be there. To see your smile. To hold you close. I feel empty. As cliche it is. There's a hole in my heart like a great black pit and its filled with these promises. that inhabit it. So just.. Please. Let's make this work as beautifully as it's supposed to. As we can. As we want.


Cause I want you.
Cause I need you.
Cause I love you.