The Coin

"But I am Edward Hyde"

Good and Evil.. The legendary battle within man.
For eternities, storytellers, spiritual leaders,
and whoever who thought a little bit of a humans deepest core
has wondered about this question.

Why do we have evil inside?

All the way from Bible, the Original Sin
Angel on your right, Devil on your left shoulder.
Everyone has been wondering of this.

How is it so, that we are so easily split?
Look in the mirror and smile.

If you look close enough, you'll see it.
The smile turns into a grin and the shadows darken.
And maybe if you close your eyes
You'll open them on the other side.

Yes, I will be pondering with Twinsanity this time.
A subject, I know nothing of.





Again, time to look back.
All your "evil" deeds.
As you look at them, you may have the thought
"Why would I ever..?"

Well.. What if you did not?
What if it actually was the other side of you?
I know, I am not the only one with this thought

Rise up, I am not alone, am I?
You know what I speak of.


I speak of the dark side of the moon.
The flipside of the coin.
The mirror.
The reflection.
The Demon Within.

Yes, yes yes yes!
"The Original Sin" lives within us!

It will be eternally humanity's struggle!
The war for the body!
Who'll win? Its up to you!
It's anyone's game, that is true

What if the dark wins us,
The balance overturned,
The control overwhelmed

How is it so, that no matter who you are
Priest, Doctor, Commoner,
Lawyer, Police Officer, Firefighter,
True believer, atheist, agnostic
Egoist, Altruist

We all have it inside.


"There's such a fine line
between a good man and a

Bad."
            -Jekyll and Hyde.


Oh the irony of human nature.


What do I mean?
Am I now going to give you advice how to fight him?
Will I tell you to stay strong?
To keep him at bay?
Fight him till the day you die?

No.

I am not.
Since as you should all realize...
If there are two in a single body,
Jekyll and Hyde,
One cannot live without the other.
Neither can the other always be at control.

A man is cursed to fight himself
To hate himself
To battle himself
Eternally.

To be sane, you need to be insane.
Twinsanity, get it?

Oh, and one more thing.



"If you separate the evil from good, where will it go?
What will happen to it?" 
-Bishop of Basingstoke



Well...
If God created man. God made man Good.





What is Hell for?

The EEE, or the Exception of the Exception of Exceptions.

At some point, we all look back. 

Or at least we should.

At some point, we all glance behind our shoulders,

and as we do, we see the wake that we leave behind us.

We see all of our mistakes. All of our faults. 

All of our failures.

But what about the good things? 

Do you count them as the failures, or the actual good things?

You see the loss of your love.

But not your love.

Look behind you, right now. Look at the past six months.

Do you count them as the time of your life?

The most miserable time of your life?

A bit of both?

Wonder which is heavier, the good or the bad?

Which one is on the surface, which is deeper,

where you need to dig your mind a bit?

Do you see that you've done some good and bad choices?
What is a bad choice? Something that you will regret later?

Well why would you choose that? 

Why would you choose something, that you will regret later?

No. It is the right choice, as long as you believe it is,

at the time you choose it.

Regret is another thing.

You are free to feel regret and sorry. Its not a bad thing.

As you now look back, do you feel regret over something?

Well how about you act on it.

Act on it. Feel sorry. Say you're sorry.

If not to anyone else, but to yourself.

If you are able to muster the strength for it, say it outloud.

Say it to someone who deserves it.

Regret the wrong turns. But not that which made... You.

Regret the things that keep you up at night.

The feeling that tears through the cavity of your chest.

Regret whatever keeps you from happiness. 

Regret the little things you did not do.

We all know the feeling. 

We all know the feeling when the past bites you.

All the things that you've forgotten suddenly rise up against you.

You roll around in your bed until your body breaks.

Until it gives in under the weight

and you finally fall to the reliving darkness that

most people call "Dreams."

We welcome the dose, the escape rope.

We welcome the ease. And that's it. Then...

We forget about them, until you next time lay down.

And it all begins again.

Some of us are stuck at this godawful cycle.

Some of us have broken free.

Some have never even heard of it.

And some choose to stay in it.

Wonder which one you are part of.

Indeed I wonder.

And as you look back... What do you regret.

I wonder, if you realize how many lies you've encountered.

The deceives that we're being fed.

Uniqueness.

Perfection.

The Exception.

Dreams.

It's funny how the human mind works. It is rather humorous,

when you realize that the best way to break a mind...

Is to mend it. To repair it.

Counterparts. 

Everything you wanted in the past. 

Did you get any of it?

Everything you hated in the past.

How much have you stayed away from it?

Or have you become just that?

Humans are the only being on this planet,

that has the full potential to become whatever it hates.

Whatever it hates the most.

Ironical.

And yet so... Brilliant.

Imagine you're on a swing.

You hope you stay on one end of the sway.

And just as you're at the highest point, the peak of it...

You see the other end.

And you come down.

And in one flash of a second...

You're at the other end.

Brilliant indeed.

Now as you look back, have you become anything you wanted?

What happened?

And whatever it was, WHEN did it happen?
How did this happen?

How did you let this happen? 

What happened to your dreams?

What happened to that small child which could have sworn

that he or she was happy? 

And that nothing could take it away?

Indeed. What happened.

Go back in your mind. Look at your past.

Look behind.

Can you see the event? Or was it just..

Time, biting out small pieces of you?

I hope you one day see it.

See the big picture.

I hope you one day see them.

The small things we all do, to make you happy.

I hope you one day see it.

See the strings that keep things together.

And I hope you show them to me too.

I hope you realize what I'm trying to tell you here.

I hope from the bottom of my heart,

that you fucking understand.

I am not trying to change you as a person.

But I am trying to help you.

I am trying to let you see it.

If you're stuck.

If you are still there, hidden inside.

If you still are the person, you used to be.

Look back. Maybe not even that far back.

First look at few past days.

Past weeks.

Months.

Maybe even years.

And see.

Please see.

And save yourself.

And maybe we can all save ourselves.

But this time I'll be gone.

La la la la la.

This time lets have a fun game. Let us pretend we're something we're not.
Lets pretend we're all alright. Lets smile whenever we meet in school or the streets we roam. Lets go home to that oh ever so loving family, asking how your day went?

Well how DID it?

Oh, it was awesome. Just what I needed.  Just what I wanted. I got everything I ever wanted. In a single day. And maybe even more. Maybe I already had it, for ages. Yes, that must be it. I've had my life under control since god knows when! I am more ALIVE THAN EVER. So thank you, whatever gave me this!

No? You don't believe me? Well, lets try another one.

Lets pretend I am more than happy. I'm on the top of my world. Let us say, that nothing could take this feeling from me. Yes.
"I am happy! I swear!" I promise, looking straight into your eyes. Would you smile and nod, agreeing and beginning a story of your own happiness?

Or would we rather stop pretending? Would you rather see through my lies?
And if you would
Would if be before or after I let you see them?
Would you be angry, when you realized it?

How we survive, is what makes us who we are. And thus life as well.
Life is what you make it.
I will make it into a mirror, just to break it. I hate my own reflection. I hate it. It is the manifestation of the other side of me. The other side of us all. The humane inhuman, so to speak. The perfect thing to blame for your own actions. It is part of you. Yes, indeed, there is no other side of the fucking coin. There is only one coin. Too bad if the corners are covered in mud or rust. Mine is burned to crusts fully, and?

Take responsibility for your actions. I will from now on. I am fine now with my weaknesses. If it helps you, then please, do as I do. There may be two sides of you. But it is still you. And you need to learn to control it.

But for heavens sake, take control of your life BUT KEEP IN MIND OF OTHERS. Yes of-mother-fucking-course you need to prioritize yourself over others but don't forget of them. 

And since we're at this, I got still things to say.
Peace of mind. Value it. Harness it.
Try to get as much of it if you can. If you're satisfied right now, then enjoy it. There is a motherfucking storm coming for you. Always is.  But when it comes, just try and survive through it. That is all there is to it. What else can you do? Chase shadows? Chase the reasons? Chase your future and seize it in the process? Well let me tell you something. It is right there. Under your nose. But can you grasp it? No. You cannot. Because you are not alone in this world. Life would be perfect, if it were designed by a single mind. You could see into your future, if you were that mind. But you are not. And that simple fact will take your little tranquility, and shred it to the tiniest of pieces, scatter them into the wind and laugh after.
Then you'll fall. Funny huh?
And as you fall, that small thought in your head will grow. It will leech everything out of you. Your health, your dreams, your mind, your success... Everything. But when its over... Oh yes. Oh yes.

I would give up on my dreams.
My health.
My mind.
My success.
My life.
Not my everything.

No, not my Everything.

Regards:
Everyone you've ever met. Everyone you'll ever meet. And Everyone you'll ever love.

Who would ever want to be king

Do tell me how does this Life work. Do tell me, that I am wrong.
Prove me, that God exists.
Prove me, He does not.

Prove me right, prove me wrong, I win anyways.

But let us speculate, if I am right. If I've always been.
If I really have lived through countless of lives, if I am capable of seeing through the disguise?
If I can see through the very fabric that lingers through your very skin, painting us new faces, new bodies, new eyes even? What if nothing physical remains from our former selves, but the very being that we always will be?

Call it a soul. Call it heart. Call it spirit. Call it person. Whatever one would like to call It, I say that it remains. Through the rifts of world as we depart from one to the another, it remains within us, for it is what ACTUALLY is you.

Mr A meets Mrs B. They fall in love. Their souls bond together and they grow old together, and as Death greets them like a humble servant, what if they are not cast to Heaven or Hell, Damnation or in the Stars, randomly back to Earth...

But after a brief moment, together back to the Earth, so that the Bond only reinforces and they will meet eventually?

Yes, I do believe in one Right person for you. Yes, I do believe that all of my loved ones, have been my loved ones in the past. What if the Stars in the Nightsky, are the Souls whom have died before their loved ones, awaiting for the their time to be cast back upon the ground we stand on?

Yes. I believe indeed that I've found many of my loved ones. And I thank whatever higher power controls this, God or Destiny, for allowing me to find them this quickly.

I am thankful for my weaknesses. I am thankful for my strengths. I am thankful for my loved ones. I am thankful for my enemies. I am thankful, for the course of actions, that has brought me here. The pieces of the puzzle appear to be on the table, but they do not fit in yet. They need time, to be shaped to be perfect, for there is only one kind of perfection.

General perfection, is Life's greatest treason. The one thing, that makes us push further and further, only to fall back. Yes, it is the one thing that cannot be reached, but to be attempted to. The true perfection, that actually does exist, is that which is between two or more, to a maximum, entities. 
Think of two clockwork gears. Even though they might be missing teeth or they might be rusty and whatnot else damage dealt to them, if they are in sync, work only together, they are "made" for each other, don't you agree? Same would go with people. All of their up and bad sides complete one another.

So, the pieces will come eventually together. Whenever the time is right. Until then, I still must bide my time, as I always have, haven't I? But no matter. I have time. I have it all within my grasp. 
I will have this all. I will have my life back. Even if it means giving up my dreams. Giving up my health. Giving up on my mind for the sake. I will have it back. Why?

Because it is the right thing.

Prove me wrong and fail miserably doing it.

I'm waiting.

Unyielding

Once upon a time I fell.
I fell from the skies, I fell till one couldn't fall anymore.
I fell from my heaven just to be greeted by my hell.
The light blinded me.
The fall paralyzed me.
The skies collapsed upon my helpless carcass, left me there in the ruins.

But I'm still here, am I not?

Once upon a time I said that even when everything else may collapse,
I will be there still, keeping you safe. We shall remain vigilant
and stand in the ruins, when the dust has settled.

But I didn't. Though neither did you fall.
But I'm still here, am I not?
Even if I'm blind, even if I cannot move.
I cannot speak.
I cannot scream from the top of my lungs for this agony inside of my bruised corpse.
But I can still hear you.
I can still hear, and feel you in the ruins. 
I can hear your troubled mind, boggling at the very thoughts it creates.

I can still hear that you are unsure.
I can still hear your voice. 

And do you know what?
One word and I'm back up, standing next to you.
One word and I can see once more.
I may be on my weakest, but at the same time, I am ready.
Ready to be stronger than ever.
I've learned. 
All this has made me strong.

So now I wait.
I await for that word.

Do not give in to anyone.

I am different. For I have thought further than anyone else.
I have broken the fourth wall. The border, between fact and fiction.
True and false.
Real and imaginary.
I come to the "real" world and decide what will come of me.
I write and take the destiny of my own choosing. 
I for one will look at the person in the eye, who keeps me as a doll
at the end of a string. And I will grab that string and pull.
I will pull so fucking hard that the writer of my story will wake up.
Pull, to make him realize that this should not happen. I will yell
to the skies at the top of my lungs: 
"Try at least you fucker! Anyone could paint a better story! ANYONE!
For crying out loud, is this your best shot? Just one, JUST FUCKING ONE
good moment so it wouldn't be simply depressive shit!
One fucking happy ending and I am satisfied enough, so that I wont
snap right now. Is that fucking too much?"
Do it you motherfucker, I scream. Do it or I will pull you down here WITH ME.


YOU KNOW I CAN DO IT.
You KNOW I can do it, you created me after all!
You gave me the power to do it, so now be afraid of your own arrogance.
Be afraid of the fact that I for one AM different.
Be very afraid.


For I am the one who will steal your broken crown, bitch.
I am the one who will kick your lifeless carcass off from your throne.
And I will rip your horns of thorn from your head. 
I will quell you from my mind. 


Why?


Because I for one am different.


While the children sing songs of mighty heroes in tales
While the pedals of roses dance while they swirl down
While the sun sets slowly with a golden crown
And last sons of light run in fear from the darkness
I will find my strings.
And I will pull your face from the skies.
I will smile.
I will laugh.
And whilst I rise my eyebrow
I will slowly open my mouth
And as you finally realize what is happening
"Shall we dance, puppet?"