When she was just a girl

I'm happy.

Now I know it.


I swear to God and everything I believe in, that I am finally happy.

I've reached peace-of-mind kind of state.
I've reached my rainbow. On the other end there is a pot of gold.


But I'm not leaving for it.

I'm happy cause I finally chose.


And I chose right.


I dont have any more bright words to say. Just some lyrics I got up on biology lesson.

And fuck the world, I'm gonna give you every single peace of my fucking thoughts if I want to, deep and emotional or not. So fuck you, fuck past-me, fuck future-me and have a taste of THAT.




"I always hear these lies
but how I'll roll the dice
Somebodys gotta make sure
that they will pay the price
I never think enough
I never say "too much"
I've bitten my jaw's to a
too big hunk of meat
I'm painting these walls
to a twisted rhythm of a beat
and when I glance down I see a fucking mirror
Reminding me of every single fucking error
We'll never catch fire from these corporate terrors
Thats why I'll have to go on
Thats why I have to burn on
I'll burst through the door
Burst through the floor
Burst through the god damn fucking window
Keep on sleeping honey, keep dreaming of a paradise
Cause now I'm off to burn them for their god damn lies
They'll remember Broken Wheels
Standing outside Burndown fields
Looking down on scorched land
grasping ashes in his hands:
"This is where I stand"


"

Burning (Boils my Blood) [Nearly Done]

But what happens when
I open my eyes
What happens when
I let myself go.
Sometimes if, I've never said so
I want you to know, I never let go.


Grasping my hands, the days will be ours.
Unfold your arms, I've been here for hours.
A mask on a chair, a face with no grin.
A black pointed pen, no intends to win.
I take the last word, and my head starts to spin.


Chorus:
If you cannot mend it then
you cannot break it and
you cannot see it then
you cannot lose it and
you cannot love it then
you wont cry over it.


Theres a hole in the dark
The one place I embark.
Theres a place in the night
Where I escape the light
Sometimes if, I've never said so.
I want you to know, I'll let you go.


Burning to ashes, from ashes to dust.
Your sweet salvation, will be my retaliation.
A shrapnel of my heart.
All my lies, an art.
Another cinder, autumn to winter
I dare you to change me.
I dare you to chase me.
And we'll see who'll win that.

If you cannot mend it then
you cannot break it and
you cannot see it then
you cannot lose it and
you cannot love it then
you wont cry over it.





Ending:
But if I were a god...
Yes if I were a god...
I'd walk the Earth, I'd walk all alone.
I'd walk alone, just to look to their eyes.
Yes if I were a god...
It boils my blood, to see who they are.
Yes, it boils my blood, to see to their hearts.
It boils my blood, to look to their eyes.
I'd set them all burning, 
Cause their hearts ain't yearning
I'll set them all burning
So their hearts start yearning
Again.

Boiling my Blood

Verse 1


But what happens when
I open my eyes
What happens when
I let myself go.
Sometimes if, I've never said so
I want you to know, I never let go.


Grasping my hands, the days will be ours.
Unfold your arms, I've been here for hours.
A mask on a chair, a face with no grin.
A black pointed pen, no intends to win.
I take the last word, and my head starts to spin.


Chorus:
If you cannot mend it then
you cannot break it and
you cannot see it then
you cannot lose it and
you cannot love it then
you wont cry over it.




Ending:
But if I were a god...
Yes if I were a god...
I'd walk the Earth, I'd walk all alone.
I'd walk alone, just to look to their eyes.
Yes if I were a god...
It boils my blood, to see who they are.
Yes, it boils my blood, to see to their hearts.
It boils my blood, to look to their eyes.
I'd set them all burning, 
Cause their hearts ain't yearning
I'll set them all burning
So their hearts start yearning
Again.




To be Continued, when the inspiration continues.

Too long.

For far too long I've dwell'd in the shadows, making sure none of you notice me.

No, notice the real me.

For far too long I have had these chains around my neck.

I just wonder.

How can you all do this to me?

No, how can I do this to you?

My friend once said:

"The day you were born, 

someone whispered your name. 

That whisper gave you the very essence of yourself.

Do not waste it."

This is me letting go of myself.

Just know the words I speak are the thoughts I don't think out-loud.

But yet, all I want is someone, some heart, to call my own.

To mend it whenever it feels alone.

For far too long YOU have been in the shadows.

Im afraid.

This morning

I realized

I'm not ready yet.

Shadows.

We all have our Shadows.
The "Dark side" within.

My shadow would be my past.
Everything is good, 'till I do something wrong and it all collapses and the "shadow" claims even this day for itself, thus making it my past.

Thats just how it goes.

I am my own Shadow.
What you see, is what you get.

You just need to look a little deeper.

Maybe, MAYBE if you dig harder, if you try with all your powers,
you may be able to see through my disguise.

Haha, would love to see you try.



You dont know me.



You cant see through me.



I can see you try, before even you do it yourself.



That is my Dark side.

The fact that I'm a bad person.

But that leads us to the Good Side.




I am a master of learning peoples personalities, peoples feelings, people in all.


I can learn, I can read you.
None of you can hide from me.



No one.


Oh the bittersweet feeling I get when I time after time realize, that the more I use my good side
...-It makes me even worse person.


Haha.

P.S

Change me.
I dare you.
Try and change me.

You better run, you better run.

I'm pissed off.
No, I'm angry.
No, Im MAD.


Mad at the world, mad at myself, at my friends.

Why?

Cause nothing never goes as I plan.
Cause people are IDIOTS.
Cause people aren't like me.

Yes, call me selfish, cause thats what I am right now.
But for a good reason.

People tell eachother "Chase and LIVE your dreams."
...
How?

Think honestly. Do you ACTUALLY live your dreams right now?

Do you ACTUALLY have dreams right now?

Maybe get
-Balanced job
-Good, loving wife/husband
-Own House to share with your love
-Couple of kids that call you "Mom" or "Daddy"?

Is THAT your dream?

I refuse.
I wont have that bullshit.

That is not a dream, thats the basics of your future.
Be ambisious. Because you're human.
Be honest. Because you're human.



Songs say "Dont let anyone crush your dreams" or some dumb shit like that.
....
...
Who does that?
Have you ever met anyone who'd be there, preventing you from fulfilling your dreams?
Have you?

No you havent. And you will never meet.

Compassion.
That, is the thing that makes us NOT do that for eachoter. We want to see eachother make it.

So don't listen to anyone who says that bullshit.


One more thing I want to talk about now, since I've been quiet for some time and will be for couple of days.


Its the lie called "unique".

Wake up, idiot.
You.
Are.
Not.
Unique.

If everyone is unique, none of us is.

I dont even accept the term "unique."
YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE AND YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH IT.

You say "My dreams are unique".
Think again.
You say "My life is unique"
Yes, the whole plot, but not everything has happened to someone one day.


No, you are not unique.

I am unique, for I am not.

I refuse to be what the others are.
I am different.
I am different.

I have it all within my grasp if I  want to.

For I am aware of how much I have yet to learn.


So run, run before I awaken.

Run, or wait till I awaken, and try to outrun me.



Run bitch, run.